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Worried That Your Ex Is Stalking You?

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Thousands of People are Stalked Every Year.

Stalking is one of the most common forms of abuse. Here, we explore what it is, why it happens and what you can do about it.

Relationships are complicated, and sometimes when they come to an end, that complexity only intensifies. In an ideal world, both parties would acknowledge simultaneously that things are no longer working, and would agree to go their separate ways. In truth, that very rarely happens. More commonly, one person ends up making the decision to end things, leaving the other feeling hurt, rejected and angry.

Put that way, it is, perhaps, unsurprising with such strong emotions in play that the other party can sometimes lash out or behave irrationally. Stalking is one of the most common manifestations of these feelings. If you believe you are being stalked, the important thing to remember is that you are not powerless. From taking basic precautions yourself to enlisting the assistance of experts that provide trace UK mobile number services, there are logical steps to stopping the abuse.

Understand the motivation

If your ex starts following you, calling you or otherwise making his or her presence felt, it is easy to respond with anger or fear of your own. But the first step in stopping it is to understand why they are doing it, and that means seeing the situation from their perspective – however warped that perspective might seem.

Most likely, they are seeking to either reconcile with you or to punish you for rejecting them. Whichever it is, their main motivation is the same – they want to maintain contact with you.

Tell them once, and tell them clearly

This places you in a difficult position. On the one hand, you need to make it absolutely clear that you do not want this contact. However, just in communicating this to them, you are providing the attention and contact they crave. So avoid long explanations or drawn out conversations. You only need to tell them you don’t want to see them, hear from them or be in a relationship with them. You don’t have to say why. Tell them once, tell them clearly and then close off communication.

What if they continue?

For a reasonable person, that would be enough, but humans can sometimes be irrational creatures. Once a rejected person starts stalking, they can continue for weeks, months, even years, so you need to get help. Yet according to research carried out in 2005, victims only report stalkers to police after, on average, the 100th incident.

Preserve all evidence of stalking, for example letters, emails or unwanted gifts, and if you are being harassed by anonymous calls, use a professional agency that will be able to trace the caller’s details. The more evidence you can provide to the police, the better they will be able to help, so it is important to retain everything from the outset.

Protect yourself online

These days, we lead as much of our lives online as we do in the real world. Could your ex have access to your online accounts? Change your passwords to be on the safe side, and quietly inform close friends and family of the problem.

Stalking is a form of domestic abuse. If your ex won’t accept that it is over, take it seriously, and keep in mind that 50 percent of ex partners who make threats go on to carry them out.

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